Leadership:
An autobiography
The formative years
memories and experiences
Luckily for me, I have a multitude of positive experiences and memories that come to mind when reflecting on my formative years. Due to my fun, but disciplined, home life, I specifically remember the lessons of respect that my Mom and Dad taught me. The lessons on how to treat others never really seemed to matter until I was in the 5th Grade at Augusta Preparatory Day School, a local private middle school. At the end of the year awards ceremony for our grade, the faculty gives one award to the student who exemplifies exactly what it means to be a respectful, good-natured kid. The award symbolized having the characteristics of a young leader, good citizen, and exemplary friend. Everyone referred to the award as the "MVS" Award, or the award given to the "Most Valuable Student." For many reasons that I am still unsure about, I was the recipient of the award. For even more crazy reasons, I was also the recipient when I was in 7th and 8th Grade. Being humbled by the experience, it started to put a lot of things into perspective for me. Giving me an appreciation for what my parents had taught me throughout my childhood, it made things very clear: treating others with respect will only bring you good things. Since then, I have made it my priority to connect with others in unique ways through empathy, humor, selflessness, and overall genuine character.
My school was also a big component of developing my personality, work ethic, and study skills. Augusta Prep was extremely challenging; it was an accelerated curriculum that mimicked what college courses were like. Attending this school from the 3rd through the 9th Grade, I quickly had to adapt to a heavy course load of rigorous assignments while managing my social and sports lives. This gave me a glimpse into what the "real world" is like; you have to find ways to prioritize everything that needs to get done. My club soccer team was the foundation of my social life, introducing me to guys who are still my best friends today. Because of our strong connections, we are able to keep our relationships alive currently.
Another memory that impacted my personal life and development was the disaster at the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001. I was in the 3rd Grade at the time, relatively clueless as to what was happening. Upon learning what had occurred, my entire outlook on our country, military, and worldwide prominence changed. Knowing that my Dad was in the Army at the time, it was scary to think of the unknown that was to come in the future. Because of this fear, I had to make sure to be there for my friends and family so that we could stay together. Making me mature a little quicker than I could have imagined, it made me think about the uncertainty of my Dad's orders. A few years later, I had to face the reality of him being deployed to Afganistan for four months. This caused me to be the "man of the house" for my family throughout those months. The fear of uncertainty of my Dad's health and safety made that a long, dreadful time period. This sticks out as a crucial part of my formative years because of the emotional roller coaster associated with my Dad's journey.
There is one major negative memory that has helped shape me into the person that I am today. On April 15th, 2012 Ethan Mills was killed in a car accident in my hometown. Ethan was one of my very best friends, and so were his two brothers Billy and Holder. I had grown close with the Mills family throughout my high school career-- they were a major reason why my time in Waynesville was so enjoyable. Ethan was an absolute joy of a person. He could brighten any room while showing that he was never afraid to have a good time. He could change the dynamic of a group to become more positive, productive, and outgoing. He would show that he cared about you by showing complete empathy for any situation. Because of Ethan, I became a better person. When he died, our town lost a major piece of our puzzle. He left a void that will never be filled. His humor and outlook on life will never be topped. Because of his death, I had to work extra hard to pull my group of friends together to stay united. Though we had lost a part of us, it was up to us to remain intact. Because he forced me to lead my friends through a horrible situation, Ethan was major part of how I developed into an adult. For this, I am forever grateful.
Finally, my most recent experiences at UNC Asheville have had the biggest impacts on my leadership development. As a student-athlete, you are automatically given a significant amount of leadership within the campus community. Building off of that, I became the President of our Student-Athlete Advisory Committee, whose purpose was to provide insight to the student-athlete experience at UNC Asheville by giving an internal voice in all athletic affairs. We hoped to continue to lead the movement of positivity and success to all UNC Asheville athletic teams, while building the Bulldog brand of sports by developing our student-athletes into champions in athletics and leaders in life. We also aimed to bolster our community by giving back to those in our immediate area by volunteering and generating a healthy environment of respect and competition. This two-year leadership position pushed me to become one of the biggest influences on campus. Together, we were able to make strides to change he campus culture for the better. Because of this, I was voted UNC Asheville's 2015 Homecoming King. This was the most humbling, enlightening honor that I have ever received, as it made me feel like I was a major part of the student body. Being such an exclusive award, this singled me out as one of the biggest leaders in the student community. I will forever be grateful for the recognition, and I hope that my impact on the Asheville family will be felt forever.
My school was also a big component of developing my personality, work ethic, and study skills. Augusta Prep was extremely challenging; it was an accelerated curriculum that mimicked what college courses were like. Attending this school from the 3rd through the 9th Grade, I quickly had to adapt to a heavy course load of rigorous assignments while managing my social and sports lives. This gave me a glimpse into what the "real world" is like; you have to find ways to prioritize everything that needs to get done. My club soccer team was the foundation of my social life, introducing me to guys who are still my best friends today. Because of our strong connections, we are able to keep our relationships alive currently.
Another memory that impacted my personal life and development was the disaster at the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001. I was in the 3rd Grade at the time, relatively clueless as to what was happening. Upon learning what had occurred, my entire outlook on our country, military, and worldwide prominence changed. Knowing that my Dad was in the Army at the time, it was scary to think of the unknown that was to come in the future. Because of this fear, I had to make sure to be there for my friends and family so that we could stay together. Making me mature a little quicker than I could have imagined, it made me think about the uncertainty of my Dad's orders. A few years later, I had to face the reality of him being deployed to Afganistan for four months. This caused me to be the "man of the house" for my family throughout those months. The fear of uncertainty of my Dad's health and safety made that a long, dreadful time period. This sticks out as a crucial part of my formative years because of the emotional roller coaster associated with my Dad's journey.
There is one major negative memory that has helped shape me into the person that I am today. On April 15th, 2012 Ethan Mills was killed in a car accident in my hometown. Ethan was one of my very best friends, and so were his two brothers Billy and Holder. I had grown close with the Mills family throughout my high school career-- they were a major reason why my time in Waynesville was so enjoyable. Ethan was an absolute joy of a person. He could brighten any room while showing that he was never afraid to have a good time. He could change the dynamic of a group to become more positive, productive, and outgoing. He would show that he cared about you by showing complete empathy for any situation. Because of Ethan, I became a better person. When he died, our town lost a major piece of our puzzle. He left a void that will never be filled. His humor and outlook on life will never be topped. Because of his death, I had to work extra hard to pull my group of friends together to stay united. Though we had lost a part of us, it was up to us to remain intact. Because he forced me to lead my friends through a horrible situation, Ethan was major part of how I developed into an adult. For this, I am forever grateful.
Finally, my most recent experiences at UNC Asheville have had the biggest impacts on my leadership development. As a student-athlete, you are automatically given a significant amount of leadership within the campus community. Building off of that, I became the President of our Student-Athlete Advisory Committee, whose purpose was to provide insight to the student-athlete experience at UNC Asheville by giving an internal voice in all athletic affairs. We hoped to continue to lead the movement of positivity and success to all UNC Asheville athletic teams, while building the Bulldog brand of sports by developing our student-athletes into champions in athletics and leaders in life. We also aimed to bolster our community by giving back to those in our immediate area by volunteering and generating a healthy environment of respect and competition. This two-year leadership position pushed me to become one of the biggest influences on campus. Together, we were able to make strides to change he campus culture for the better. Because of this, I was voted UNC Asheville's 2015 Homecoming King. This was the most humbling, enlightening honor that I have ever received, as it made me feel like I was a major part of the student body. Being such an exclusive award, this singled me out as one of the biggest leaders in the student community. I will forever be grateful for the recognition, and I hope that my impact on the Asheville family will be felt forever.
important People
I give 100% credit of my successes to my Mom and Dad. They have taught me everything I need to know to live a virtuous, meaningful life. I cannot thank them enough for shedding the necessary amount of light into how to have a wholesome, enriching, and spiritual marriage.
My Mom has always said, "Stay sweet, stay humble." By listening to this repetitively throughout my childhood (and today), I have become grounded with her values. Dad's stressing of the importance of saying "please and thank you" to anyone and everyone has given me the foundation of being polite. Our Catholic family lived through respect, manners, love, and selflessness. By having high standards of excellence and behavior, our expectations for each other have always challenged us to make us better. Because of my parents' influence, today I live by the premise of "Triple F": Faith, Family, and Friendship. |
|
My grandfather, Robert W. Smith, is a legend in the minds of many. I have never a met a man with so much patience, love, and good fortune. He was a man of many achievements in multiple fields, including teaching, writing, scholarship and historical research, government service, raconteurship and, most importantly, our family. Raised in an orphanage, he married my grandmother, Alice Smith, and moved around the world for the CIA. Landing temporarily in Taiwan, my grandfather (Gruncle, as well called him) became very passionate about the Chinese culture and the teachings of Asian martial arts, with tai chi in particular. Becoming a student under tai chi Grandmaster Chen Manching, Gruncle devoted his life to learning Western boxing and judo. With permission, he and my grandmother moved back to the US where he began teaching martial arts classes and writing about his journey within the Asian culture. Because of this, he is the reason why tai chi is prevalent in America today. "As an early pioneer of Asian martial arts in the West, Mr. Smith provided a positive foundation of historical accuracy while emphasizing the traditional, ethical influences of the often misunderstood and misrepresented martial arts" (Conner, 2007). As an editor, author, co-author and co-translator, Gruncle produced 14 books. He wrote dozens of magazine articles, most on martial arts topics. In addition, he wrote over 240 book reviews on a wide variety of topics for top newspapers across America. Needless to say, Gruncle led a very influential life. He lived his life in pursuit of and in conjunction with not just mere expertise and knowledge, but with wisdom leavened with love. His myriad journeys confirmed his conviction that love and friendship are life's most precious parts (Conner, 2007). Because of this, he is a major component of who I am today. Teaching me to respect others through moral humility and generosity, he forged the foundation of my personality at an early age. His use of humor, irony, anecdotes, and aphorisms showed me how to connect with others in unique ways while gaining their respect. The martial arts classes he taught gathered hundreds of people and they were all free. This also proves his selfless nature and his willingness to give his time and energy to others. From an early age, I tried to become more and more like Gruncle. Because of who he was, I am proud of who I am and where I came from. His philosophy on living with "wisdom leavened with love" proves that his legacy will never be forgotten. His softness and genuine kindness will never be replicated again in the future. |
Listen and see Gruncle's soft-spoken personality in this video |
|
The power of friendship cannot be put into words. The friendship that I have with the Meeks family from Augusta, GA cannot be adequately summarized. Beginning at the age of 6, I have been best friends with Connor and Luke Meeks. Being on the same summer-league swim team, we forged automatic friendships. Fortunately, so did our parents. From joining the same sports teams, to travelling to the Caribbean, to inviting each other to family reunions, we did everything together. Even when I moved to North Carolina, we still found ways to keep our relationship alive and thriving.
Unfortunately, the mother of the family, Julie, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 2009. The pain and heartbreak of the diagnosis continues to break us down today. Though she is going strong, we sympathize with the pain that she is going through. Because of this trial and tribulation, we have learned to live life like there is no tomorrow. She is a perfect example of someone who continues to give to others, even when she should be the one on the receiving end. She has taught me to never stop believing, keep the faith, and do everything you can to live life without any regrets.
"The road to leadership takes some form and direction"
Just like my childhood, I am still on the pursuit of excellence. Seeking to narrow down and enhance my personal leadership styles, I am working diligently to become the leader that I want to be. Taking advantage of my current opportunities, my hope is to envision my ideal future and then do everything in my power to make that future happen. My leadership style has numerous parts, all surrounding one premise: use charisma to empower others.
All of my life, I have relied on my personality to make friends, create opportunities, and go to new destinations. Due to my upbringing, I utilize this charismatic approach in order to influence others to achieve tasks. Leading from the top-down with a welcoming spirit, I believe that you have to gain the immediate respect of others in order to accomplish goals. A major part of this is having the ability to make good, lasting first impressions. Being a big believer that "you never get a second chance to make a first impression," I think you should always conduct yourself in a professional manner. By approaching every day as a new "interview", you can prove to others how much you care about your and your organization's well-being.This is why I believe that I do not have a single leadership style. For me, it is crucial to combine a few different styles of leadership in order to become more well-rounded. Having one style can be too predictable; it is necessary to have a healthy mix of different leadership and management styles in order to get the job done in the way that you want it to. This is why my leadership style involves affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and participative components.
David Scott describes the affiliative style as the ability to create harmony and build emotional bonds. This includes empathy, building relationships, and communication (Scott, 2014). Focusing on having others come first, this style can "calm many storms" and motivate people during stressful situations. Knowing that affiliative means "to bring into close association or connection," I can say that this style of leadership would go well with my personality (dictionary.com, 2015). Always looking to bring groups together through fellowship and fun, I think leaders should seek to serve their own followers. If they can prove to their followers that they care for them, will protect them, and appreciate them, then the followers will be much more prone to dedicate their times and efforts to that leader. After all, happy employees correlate strongly to happy customers. Happy customers help to generate a happy, successful organization.
The democratic leadership style signifies participation from all involved. This includes follower collaboration, communication, and input through overall buy-in. I have always looked to others immediately for advice, wisdom, and opinion. Putting more than one brain together increases the amount of knowledge available; because of this, group participation is vital for adequate idea generation and corporate brainstorming. I do not operate in an authoritative, dictator-like manner. I have never been a loner, or someone who preaches a "my way or the highway" method of task accomplishment. I have always loved being on teams and utilizing every resource that a team has to offer. If you have valuable assets that make up a team, then I believe that a leader has to take advantage of them! If resources are going unused, then they are taking up space, Because of this, I think that everyone should be able to give his/her opinion easily, and nobody in the organization should be afraid to speak up and let his/her voice be heard.
A pacesetter sets high standards for performance. Leader competencies associated with this leadership style include conscientiousness, drive to achieve, and initiative (Scott, 2015). As a leader, I think that it is essential to "get down in the dirt" with followers, meaning that it is vital for a leader to lead by example. By doing all of the boring, monotonous tasks that leaders sometimes forget to do, it will show your followers your true commitment and dedication to the success of the team. This style can help generate quick results by motivating people to get out of their comfort zones. By constantly getting out of their comfort zones, followers can get comfortable in new environments. This will forever impact their development and progression as professionals.
This correlates well with the participative leadership style. This style encourages involvement in all facets of the organization, regardless of the position of the followers. This can empower others to help make decisions due to the confidence instilled in them by the leader.
All of my life, I have relied on my personality to make friends, create opportunities, and go to new destinations. Due to my upbringing, I utilize this charismatic approach in order to influence others to achieve tasks. Leading from the top-down with a welcoming spirit, I believe that you have to gain the immediate respect of others in order to accomplish goals. A major part of this is having the ability to make good, lasting first impressions. Being a big believer that "you never get a second chance to make a first impression," I think you should always conduct yourself in a professional manner. By approaching every day as a new "interview", you can prove to others how much you care about your and your organization's well-being.This is why I believe that I do not have a single leadership style. For me, it is crucial to combine a few different styles of leadership in order to become more well-rounded. Having one style can be too predictable; it is necessary to have a healthy mix of different leadership and management styles in order to get the job done in the way that you want it to. This is why my leadership style involves affiliative, democratic, pacesetting, and participative components.
David Scott describes the affiliative style as the ability to create harmony and build emotional bonds. This includes empathy, building relationships, and communication (Scott, 2014). Focusing on having others come first, this style can "calm many storms" and motivate people during stressful situations. Knowing that affiliative means "to bring into close association or connection," I can say that this style of leadership would go well with my personality (dictionary.com, 2015). Always looking to bring groups together through fellowship and fun, I think leaders should seek to serve their own followers. If they can prove to their followers that they care for them, will protect them, and appreciate them, then the followers will be much more prone to dedicate their times and efforts to that leader. After all, happy employees correlate strongly to happy customers. Happy customers help to generate a happy, successful organization.
The democratic leadership style signifies participation from all involved. This includes follower collaboration, communication, and input through overall buy-in. I have always looked to others immediately for advice, wisdom, and opinion. Putting more than one brain together increases the amount of knowledge available; because of this, group participation is vital for adequate idea generation and corporate brainstorming. I do not operate in an authoritative, dictator-like manner. I have never been a loner, or someone who preaches a "my way or the highway" method of task accomplishment. I have always loved being on teams and utilizing every resource that a team has to offer. If you have valuable assets that make up a team, then I believe that a leader has to take advantage of them! If resources are going unused, then they are taking up space, Because of this, I think that everyone should be able to give his/her opinion easily, and nobody in the organization should be afraid to speak up and let his/her voice be heard.
A pacesetter sets high standards for performance. Leader competencies associated with this leadership style include conscientiousness, drive to achieve, and initiative (Scott, 2015). As a leader, I think that it is essential to "get down in the dirt" with followers, meaning that it is vital for a leader to lead by example. By doing all of the boring, monotonous tasks that leaders sometimes forget to do, it will show your followers your true commitment and dedication to the success of the team. This style can help generate quick results by motivating people to get out of their comfort zones. By constantly getting out of their comfort zones, followers can get comfortable in new environments. This will forever impact their development and progression as professionals.
This correlates well with the participative leadership style. This style encourages involvement in all facets of the organization, regardless of the position of the followers. This can empower others to help make decisions due to the confidence instilled in them by the leader.
My leadership style comes from many things, including my upbringing, parents, teammates, education, and previous jobs. I have seen first-hand how different leadership styles can affect organizations of every caliber in positive and negative ways. Experiencing two authoritative bosses in my past, I know how intimidating it can be for followers to work underneath a strict regime. Not wanting to impose a similar environment onto my followers, I seek to have a two-way relationship with each of my followers. Showing them that it is OK to make mistakes will help them realize that nobody is perfect. Like my parents have always said, "If you strive for perfection, you have a good chance of catching excellence along the way." Through this premise, my goal is to morph all of my followers into excellent
champions of the workplace and leaders in life.
champions of the workplace and leaders in life.